Great piece. I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my video card out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I kicked the monitor through the window into the yard and dogs barked at it. And then I realized: the sound card was still intact. I listened to this site for hours. And now I know what needs to be done.
lol, 20 gallon drum, 2 party-sized boxes of baking soda and a weather balloon! use something more remote than a lighter, though. .22 long rifle perhaps.
... and sentencing was delegated to the skipper who was instructed to "suck the air out of her". They skinned her and made a raft of her hide, the SS Gingerslut. Turned out that they were overloaded by rhe skipper's weight so they killed him, too. They cut chunks off of him in case they ran out of food. As they sailed away, Chief Urulu waved a tearful goodbye and threw them a 10 lb. bag of rice as a going away present. 2 days out at sea they were surrounded by an angry pod of whales who mistook them...
Calvin and Hobbs seem to be a little too laid back amidst a search of that intensity. The stress should show, like maybe Hobbs ripping out his colostomy bag and beating Calvin with it. There used to be a kid in our neighborhood that looked like Calvin. We dug a trench around the house and filled it with gasoline. That sucked the air out him. Kinda like the time that Ginger was found guilty by the rest of the castaways of being the most useless one on the island, even more useless than both Howells...
Thanks for making Tuscan Whole Milk a household word! I ordered some to use at my espresso stand so I can charge people $1.50 more for their silly lattes. When it arrives I'm actually gonna drink it myself so I can have super powers and gastrointestinal adventures. So what, you may ask, am I going to be pouring out of the Tuscan bottle into my customers' lattes and other coffee based pussy drinks? Rat milk purchased from Big Tony over in Newark. You betcha.
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