Each one of those line interpretations would be stupid and unpopular in their own site. I don't know why they would be funnier together. +1 for the gay laser and the drama that is St. Elmo's Fire.
Here's a tip: Keep the title, ditch everything else. Use a picture of Obama with his eyes closed and smiling. Then go to findsounds.com and search for "fart." Use a bunch of those sound clips and the 5s will roll in from those who appreciate good humor.
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