There's a MST3K where they watch a movie called 'Soultaker' and make a riff near the very beginning where Tom says, "I'm Ed Bradley", Mike says, "I'm Steve Croft", and Crow says, "I'm Leslie Stall". That might be cool to throw in.
To slightly alter a great quote from Ben-Hur: "Ebaum's World is an affront to God. Ebaum's World is strangling my people and my website and the whole internets, but not forever. I tell you, the day Ebaum's World falls, there will be a shout of freedom such as the internets has never heard before!"
It's amazing what a change in music will do for a repulsive and disturbing monstrosity's shambling gait. Throw in some Bee Gees and that freak of nature becomes a smooth operator.
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