A Movie That Never Made It To Theaters
Created on: May 24th, 2009
A Movie That Never Made It To Theaters
ryanmontana 
straighttodvd.ytmnd.com
Sunday Afternoon Movie
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Last Night - The Mar-Keys

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ryanmontana
May 24th, 2009
3:17:55 PM CDT
(5)
When Dick Johnson's (Richard Kind) father passes away, he leaves him his pet ostrich, Max (voiced by Gilbert Gottfried), in his last will and testimony. After Dick finds out that this destructive beast can't be left alone in his apartment, he brings him to his 9-5 office job. Dick's boss sees potential in the lovable Max and hires him to the team. Hilarity ensues in the directorial debut of Judith Light. Oh, and Dick can't say "No" or "Yes". And can't lie.
ryanmontana
May 24th, 2009
8:56:05 PM CDT
(0)
UPDATED WITH BACK COVER
shadebrand
May 25th, 2009
1:22:39 PM CDT
(2)
YOU F*CKHEAD, YOU SPOILED THE MOVIE!
gravitysasshole
May 26th, 2009
12:16:09 AM CDT
(2)
what else does the box say?
shadebrand
May 26th, 2009
1:59:50 AM CDT
(2)
the box says shut up steve.
capnskull
May 24th, 2009
3:28:03 PM CDT
(4)
Give me your straight to DVD
ryanmontana
May 24th, 2009
3:31:26 PM CDT
(5)
Give me your TBS Network Premiere of...
igetpaid
May 25th, 2009
9:52:27 PM CDT
(4)
Iguanas on a Helicopter
hanktherapper
May 24th, 2009
8:21:21 PM CDT
(7)
It has Richard Kind so you know it will be funny.
MrStump
May 24th, 2009
10:57:27 PM CDT
(7)
This just about describes the state of blockbuster comedies. HILARIOUS SITUATION WITH A RIDICULOUS PREMISE! Starring the same 5 actors, and a girl who didn't even know he existed until blah. Oh yeah, that reminds me, time to go see Night at the Museum 2.
badboybadd
May 25th, 2009
2:46:34 AM CDT
(4)
they will tell you tomorrow that natm2 was the #1 movie this weekend, but that's because they didn't count terminator 4's tickets from thursday. if they had it was the number 1 movie by about another 17 million. then less ppl went to see it because they had already seen it on thursday. Thus giving ben stiller more MEANINGLESS HYPE than he ever deserves, oh yeah and office max would smash the crap out of all of these if they had released it in IMAX 3D
poopsoup
May 25th, 2009
4:52:22 PM CDT
(-1)
I liked Night at the Museum. In what other movie will you find a geriatric round house kick Ben Stiller?
wisdumcube
May 24th, 2009
11:53:04 PM CDT
(-1)
Gilbert Gottfried: So, his voice actually sounds like chalkboard scraping in real life?
Famery-Gai
May 25th, 2009
12:20:19 AM CDT
(8)
FACT: lady gaga is still more retarded than this entire concept
SnailEnlarger
May 25th, 2009
10:10:00 AM CDT
(2)
QUESTION: How do you wake up lady gaga?
SnailEnlarger
May 25th, 2009
10:10:36 AM CDT
(1)
ANSWER: Pokeherface!!
SnailEnlarger
May 25th, 2009
11:46:07 AM CDT
(0)
LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Improviser
May 25th, 2009
2:46:57 PM CDT
(1)
more like Butterface amirite?
Iritscen
May 25th, 2009
5:15:09 PM CDT
(0)
Talent > looks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwdXnlvUe3I
Iritscen
May 25th, 2009
5:17:26 PM CDT
(0)
Don't consider myself a fan of her music, but you gotta admit that's not half-bad.
Improviser
May 25th, 2009
7:16:48 PM CDT
(0)
Yeah maybe if you have a nose fetish.
Iritscen
May 26th, 2009
11:01:24 AM CDT
(2)
I didn't mean her looks. Anyway, I actually do have a nose fetish. But she's still not attractive to me.
UnknownEntity
May 25th, 2009
12:45:27 AM CDT
(4)
Worth $10
shadebrand
May 25th, 2009
8:40:20 PM CDT
(3)
2 $5 foot longs.
DarthWang
May 25th, 2009
4:22:20 AM CDT
(1)
um, okay....
Iritscen
May 25th, 2009
5:16:15 PM CDT
(1)
Hey, it's different, I gave it an extra star just for that.
Mikebluez
May 25th, 2009
4:29:11 AM CDT
(0)
I see why it couldn't make it to theaters it shouldn't even made it to DVD :/.
ryanmontana
May 25th, 2009
11:07:26 AM CDT
(1)
Probably right. Also, you've got something on your chin ;)
s3m1lol
May 25th, 2009
6:34:10 AM CDT
(1)
Produced by: Tony Danza
Crusher8576
May 25th, 2009
9:33:10 AM CDT
(3)
why is the cover on the back of the case
LegoLewdite
May 25th, 2009
9:39:12 AM CDT
(1)
nice backstory. also, if Dick Kind shrugged, he'd be the spitting image of gr33ny, don't ya think?
TofurkeyJerky
May 25th, 2009
9:50:37 AM CDT
(0)
Was this written by Joe Eszterhas?
g00kf00d
May 25th, 2009
10:21:22 AM CDT
(0)
ching chong +1 Judith Rrright
Iritscen
May 26th, 2009
9:07:07 PM CDT
(0)
I couldn't have said it better myself ching chong
dctownes
May 25th, 2009
11:22:52 AM CDT
(1)
funnee animals do people things :)
ryanmontana
May 25th, 2009
2:10:03 PM CDT
(1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1lSD9xYiQQ&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fcapnskull.tumblr.com%2F&feature=player_embedded
Nuroticat
May 26th, 2009
11:03:44 PM CDT
(1)
:)
Doomrock
May 25th, 2009
11:51:27 AM CDT
(3)
I heard the sequel has a light saber fight
hanktherapper
May 25th, 2009
12:04:45 PM CDT
(4)
The sequel has the same plot as the original, but it stars Hank Azaria instead of Richard Kind.
ryanmontana
May 25th, 2009
12:08:02 PM CDT
(1)
And Markie Post as the love interest.
Doomrock
May 25th, 2009
5:32:42 PM CDT
(1)
also everyone they killed off thinking there wouldn't be another one conveniently still alive thanks to mysterious lucky breaks and mystical forces
soapalope
May 25th, 2009
1:28:31 PM CDT
(1)
OSTRICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
busley
May 25th, 2009
2:08:18 PM CDT
(1)
i'd rent it.
Iritscen
May 26th, 2009
9:07:51 PM CDT
(0)
i'd hit it.
martinprince
May 25th, 2009
2:34:18 PM CDT
(1)
Do Dick and Max get in an argument half way through the movie and stop speaking to each other, only to make up in the end and realize they are the bestest of friends? I hope so!
Improviser
May 25th, 2009
2:47:53 PM CDT
(1)
ostrich = 5
shadebrand
May 25th, 2009
9:44:00 PM CDT
(1)
I have this stange urge to joust.
ChuckMangione
May 25th, 2009
3:06:49 PM CDT
(0)
Feels So Good
sadleric
May 25th, 2009
4:04:04 PM CDT
(1)
wtftmnd
dbomob
May 25th, 2009
4:14:03 PM CDT
(0)
didn't the ventures do this song?
Deer-Slayer
May 25th, 2009
5:34:56 PM CDT
(1)
I would watch this. FAV'D
ucrdoh
May 25th, 2009
6:29:39 PM CDT
(0)
5 for tony danza
Paralistalon
May 25th, 2009
7:37:30 PM CDT
(1)
Rob Schneider is.... a carrot! derp de derp, durpity durpity dumb.
ChibiGoku
May 25th, 2009
8:50:48 PM CDT
(1)
I'd buy this in a heartbeat.
Nusent2
May 25th, 2009
8:55:21 PM CDT
(-2)
No.
Goneja
May 25th, 2009
9:10:23 PM CDT
(1)
This doesn't blow me away by any means, but I'll admit I chuckled
ryanmontana
May 26th, 2009
12:34:25 AM CDT
(2)
And he can't lie
jman99999
May 25th, 2009
10:31:43 PM CDT
(0)
lol this actually exists?
Backwash
May 25th, 2009
10:38:51 PM CDT
(1)
The birds face...priceless
Longestpants
May 25th, 2009
11:39:13 PM CDT
(1)
It's wrongwords. The back sleeve would be on the left.
Iritscen
May 26th, 2009
9:09:38 PM CDT
(2)
This is the Arabic release.
Iritscen
May 26th, 2009
9:10:09 PM CDT
(0)
They just forgot to translate the text.
q959fm
May 26th, 2009
12:06:07 AM CDT
(1)
Sounds like a great low-budget film!
MasterAL
May 26th, 2009
12:35:26 AM CDT
(1)
Dick Johnson= Penis Penis
Yamato
May 26th, 2009
10:29:47 PM CDT
(1)
funny thing about this is that i've seen someone with that name irl
Dextey
May 26th, 2009
3:26:08 AM CDT
(0)
On the left should be the back cover. It's reversed!
milkmanv1
May 26th, 2009
4:31:35 AM CDT
(1)
It will be a lot more entertaining than that Jessica Biel stripper movie going to DVD. Richard Kind's career has more life in it than hers. >_>
milkmanv1
May 26th, 2009
4:32:30 AM CDT
(1)
ART THOU BORED?
Stingybooyah
May 26th, 2009
9:10:59 AM CDT
(1)
Good to see the ostrich's career picking back up after the 1980s flop, Leonard part 6.
mrnoodle
May 26th, 2009
9:23:17 AM CDT
(3)
I sure hope there's a wedding scene where the ostrich crashes into the cake and then falls in the pool while the in-laws gasp in horror.
ficklefackle
May 26th, 2009
10:53:30 AM CDT
(1)
much much better with the back-o-the-box
Greezy47
May 26th, 2009
10:57:23 AM CDT
(1)
Good. Need more of these.
steakman
May 26th, 2009
1:25:43 PM CDT
(1)
who could have made such a mistake
ikickurface
May 26th, 2009
2:19:49 PM CDT
(0)
He-heh, it's funny because modern television programing is terrible.
AntwanDavis
May 26th, 2009
2:21:43 PM CDT
(-3)
1'd, I don't feel like reading that sh*t...
ryanmontana
May 26th, 2009
3:32:25 PM CDT
(1)
I didn't say you had to, but I hope you read this: Stop trying to be a dick, you f*ckin' pussy.
shadebrand
May 27th, 2009
12:31:55 AM CDT
(0)
not reading it makes you look like an ilit anyway.
Neuronin
May 26th, 2009
2:27:40 PM CDT
(6)
Oh my god! I've been trying to remember this movie since I was a kid! Wasn't that Louis Anderson cameo the BEST?
soggytoast
May 26th, 2009
10:42:14 PM CDT
(0)
Life with LOUIE LOUIE LOUIE!
ObadiahtheSlim
May 26th, 2009
2:28:34 PM CDT
(0)
I don't know what to think.
Ochobobo
May 26th, 2009
10:14:20 PM CDT
(2)
SOMEBODY MADE A BIG MISTAKE HERE
ASSCOCKredux
May 26th, 2009
6:19:26 PM CDT
(0)
funny ytmnd
ryanmontana
May 26th, 2009
6:22:47 PM CDT
(1)
(reaction)
shadebrand
May 27th, 2009
12:31:11 AM CDT
(1)
Funny yet you voted 1.... (P.S. [+]'ed ryanmontana cause he's blue and doing his "(reaction)" thing on his own site when he shouldn't have to)
braxton
May 27th, 2009
6:22:18 AM CDT
(3)
***rebuttal insulting assc*ckredux and his mother***
the8ball
May 26th, 2009
6:37:49 PM CDT
(0)
+5 for keywords
DarkMercury
May 26th, 2009
8:53:09 PM CDT
(1)
Honestly, this movie would be amazing.
Stingybooyah
May 26th, 2009
9:37:11 PM CDT
(0)
...and if Dick Johnson also happened to be gay, it'd win an Oscar.
christoball
May 27th, 2009
2:21:32 AM CDT
(1)
Gay AND black would win a Super Oscar.
mrnoodle
May 31st, 2009
6:24:15 PM CDT
(0)
not just black, but playing the magic negro
christoball
June 2nd, 2009
2:03:11 AM CDT
(1)
Gay magic negro janitor!
PatienceKing
May 26th, 2009
10:37:22 PM CDT
(1)
I take it you throw on this classic gem whenever the mentally burdensome plot tapestry of Shaq-fu drives you to reluctantly switch off the Genesis.
shoover
May 27th, 2009
12:22:17 AM CDT
(1)
That's insulting! I work at wal-mart and we would never have this crap.
shoover
May 27th, 2009
12:23:13 AM CDT
(0)
also due to the retarded new setup our wal-mart store is ongoing right now, we don't have a 5 dollar bin anymore.
Iritscen
May 27th, 2009
9:09:40 PM CDT
(1)
No $5 bin?! What is the world coming to?
Meleniumshane90
May 27th, 2009
8:37:49 AM CDT
(0)
Does anyone else not no what the hell is going on?
HardCheese
May 28th, 2009
6:44:08 AM CDT
(0)
I love this site. Deeply.
Greezy47
May 29th, 2009
5:40:23 PM CDT
(0)
Just noticed "Produced by Tony Danza" lol...
AceRimmer
May 30th, 2009
1:05:06 AM CDT
(1)
somehow i always lose it when i picture gottfried voicing that ostrich. if this seems impossible to any of you please remember the dog playing basketball movie.
Kovalchuk
May 31st, 2009
9:05:08 PM CDT
(0)
is that the Bottom credits music