The Cost of Being King
Created on: September 20th, 2008
Aramis and Porthos are dead. Long live the King.
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You stop in the local Burger King to grab a snack. A bunch of twelve year old kids sitting in a booth off to the side greet you with a rousing “Skate or die, dude!” and a hand symbol that looks kinda like what Spiderman does except the thumb’s tucked in. You think it might be affiliated with rock and roll music, but when you were seven your dad told you it meant ‘F*ck you’ so you decide to ignore the kids and just order a Whopper.
You are simply astonished when the dopey looking teen behind the counter informs you that they no longer serve Whoppers at Burger King. Your eyes pop out of your head ever so slightly and as you lean in on the counter you spit out a cool, quiet “What? What did you say?” to this acne-ridden Eugene (as the nametag reads).
Then suddenly, from the foreign domain of the world behind the register, appears the most awe-inspiring – nay, the most downright majestic figure of contemporary times: The Burger King. You struggle to compose your unworthy self before his legendary regal appearance. He approaches the counter and His static but all seeing eyes stare into your soul. You piously avert His gaze, slowly bowing before Him and kissing the hand He so nonchalantly extends to you.
The King performs the most elegant and impressive dance moves known to mankind; it simultaneously charms and sexually motivates you. Then - just as your heart feels as if it may overflow throughout your breast - He hands you one of His world famous Whoppers from deep within the folds of His cape. The King then makes a gallant gesture to the menu with His soft, gloved hand. You choke out the words “chicken tenders-please” and they are instantaneously at your side. You had never known love before this day.
I tried lengthening the unzoomed portion, (like dbomob suggested) but it made the file size inordinately big. Is there a way to make the .GIF reference the same frame loop over and over several times before moving to a new frame without it actually adding to the file size? Or should I just get rid of the zoom entirely? (That is really easy) Does anyone know how to do this?
Delicious. I like to walk into a Burger King and order a whopper--not because a whopper is the best burger in the world but because a whopper takes me back to my earliest childhood memories of wearing that paper-crown and eating burgers with my family in 1986. That was the first year I played NES and I wore that paper crown while playing my first few games of Excitebike and Super Mario Brothers. Yes, Burger King whoppers are a veritable time machine.
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