Zimmer Gonna SEX YOU UP (sfw img)
Created on: July 28th, 2006
Full version on YTMND Soundtrack Vol. 12. Thanks to Fyrestorm for sponsoring and big ups.
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. MANY YEARS AGO, A MENTALLY HANDICAPPED MCDONALDS EMPLOYEE PILFERED AN OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUIT FROM MY ILLUSTRIOUS STORE AND WRONGFULLY CLAIMED IT AS HIS OWN. INSULTED BY HIS DISHONESTY, MY MASSIVE MANHOOD MISSILE TORE OUT OF MY FRESHLY TAILORED PANTS, AND VICIOUSLY SLAMMED HIM INTO PAVEMENT, RATTLING HIS BONES AND SEVERING HIS FORESKIN FROM ITS MORTAL COIL.
THE LOOKS OF INNOCENCE, ABJECT TERROR, AND PURE SADNESS IN HIS EYES EMOTIONALLY AND CHEMICALLY UNITED AND FORMED AN APHRODISIAC WHICH EMANATED FROM HIS VERY SOUL. AROUSED BY THIS DISPLAY AND WITH MY OBLITERATED PANTS LAID STREWN AROUND MY ANKLES, I CHARGED AT HIM WITH THE FEROCITY OF A FEMALE GRIZZLY BEAR PROTECTING ITS YOUNG.
THE BEWILDERED YET FRIGHTENED LOOK THAT GRACED HIS TEAR-COVERED, DOWN'S SYNDROME-SHAPED FACE AS MY PULSATING POWER PUMP RUSHED TO MEET HIS FACE HAS CAUSED AND WILL CONTINUE TO CAUSE ME UPROARIOUS, RUMBLING LAUGHTER FOR MANY DECADES TO COME. SCARED AND HELPLESS, HE BEGAN TO WADDLE AWAY BUT ALAS, HIS EFFORTS WERE FUTILE.
BEFORE HE COULD STUMBLE AWAY FROM MY GRASP, I CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US WITH MY MASSIVE, MENACING MEMBER, AND HE SOON GOT A TASTE OF MY COLLOSSAL CUM CANNON AS IT SMASHED INTO HIS CRANIUM, WHICH WAS QUITE PUNY BY COMPARISON. THE FORCE OF MY CYCLOPEAN c*nt CLOBBERER SENT HIM HURTLING ACROSS THE ROOM, THROUGH SEVERAL DESKS, AND FINALLY CAUSED HIM TO SLAM HEADFIRST INTO A DISPLAY OF MY DELIGHTFULLY DAPPER SUITS.
I VAULTED OVER TO HIM WITH THE HELP OF MY PULSATING PYTHON OF POON-POUNDING, AND THEN LIFTED HIM UP AND PINNED HIM AGAINST THE ORNATELY-DECORATED CEILING WITH THE HEAD OF MY CAREFULLY MANUEVERED CERVIX CRUSADER. AS I WATCHED ALL HOPE DISSAPPEAR FROM HIS GRIEF-STRICKEN FACE, I BESPATTERED HIM WITH A DELUGE OF MASTERFULLY SPREAD MANJUICE, DROWNING HIM IN MY RICH PROTEIN SHAKE AND CORRUPTING HIS SOUL.
THE COPIOUS AMOUNT OF CORN SYRUP RUSHING FORTH FROM MY PULSATING, POWER-PACKED PLACENTA POKER QUICKLY FLOODED MY STORE AND RAISED THE EARTH'S SEA LEVEL BY APPROXIMATELY 10 PERCENT. BILLIONS OF PEOPLE GASPED FOR AIR AS THEY DROWNED IN LEGIONS OF MY STIFLINGLY SUBSTANTIAL SEED, AND MANY YEARS AFTER THIS INCIDENT, THE BODY OF THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED MCDONALDS EMPLOYEE HAS NOT BEEN RECOVERED. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. A FEW YEARS BACK, MY CFO AND I TRAVELED MANY MILES TO THE HOMOSEXUAL CLUB IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. WE THEN PROCEDED INTO THE GAY BAR WHERE WE WERE SUCKED OFF BY 3 GUYS FROM NSYNC INCLUDING LANCE BASS. WE CUMMED ON THEIR FACES AND GAVE THEM COUPONS FOR FREE SUITS BECAUSE WE UNLEASHED LOADS AND RUINED THE SUITS THEY WERE WEARING AT THE TIME. I LOOKED INTO THEIR EYES AND SAID "I GUARANTEE IT". I GUARANTEE IT.
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHEN I'M OUT ON THE TOWN MY BOUNTEOUS BEEF BATON REMAINS EVER VIGILANT IN ITS SEARCH FOR ASS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY I CAME ACROSS YOUR MOM OUTSIDE MY VERY OWN MEN'S WAREHOUSE. IMMEDIATELY MY TREMENDOUS TONG ERUPTED FORTH, SCATTERING THE TEETH OF MY ZIPPER LIKE PINBALLS AS IT THRUST VALIANTLY FORTH TO TAKE YOUR MOM UPSIDE THE CHIN WITH A COCK UPPERCUT WORTHY OF MORTAL KOMBAT.
AS SHE HOLLERED AT ME IN YIDDISH I BORE DOWN UPON HER LIKE AN INEXORABLE BATTLESHIP. THERE WAS NO HOPE OF ESCAPE FOR HER AS THE THROBBING TIP OF MY LENGTHY LOIN LANCE BATTERED INTO HER THROAT, DISLODGING A FEW MOLARS IN THE PROCESS. BUT YOUR MOM'S PUNY TONGUE COULD NOT BRING SWEET SATISFACTION TO MY DAPPER DONG, AND WITH A FLICK OF MY PONDEROUS PEMMICAN I SENT HER SOARING TO CRASH LIMPLY INTO A BUICK.
SPRINGING FORTH LIKE A FOX, MY *sshole-SEEKING CROTCH MISSILE GLOMMED IN ON HER BACK DOOR AND LET ITSELF IN TO PUNCH HER KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE. SHRIEKING IN YIDDISH, YOUR MOM CONVULSED ATOP MY LOIN LOBSTER LIKE A STRING PUPPET FOR DAYS BEFORE I UNLOADED MY MIGHTY MAN-CHOWDER, SHOOTING HER HALFWAY INTO ORBIT ATOP A GEYSER OF GROINAL GOO. IF SHE'S LANDED BY NOW, ASK HER ABOUT GEORGE'S BIG THROBBING ZIMMER AND SHE'LL TELL YOU STRAIGHT OUT THAT I'M THE MAN NOW, DOG. I GUARANTEE IT.
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